Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Diets and Self Improvement Programs - Why do people like them so much?

Americans are hooked on diets. Be it the Atkins diet or the Weight Watchers Program or countless others – if it promises results, Americans want it.

!!Note: The Johnson Plan Promises Results!!

Self-improvement is not far behind. Do-it-yourself books, motivational speakers and self-help materials earn a lot of money for those who do it – and it is only partly because they are so expensive.
You might be wondering – ok, but how much so? How much interest does the American Public really have? Google, the greatest search engine on earth, produces the following levels of interest:

Search Phrase -- Results
Lose Weight -- 28.5 Million
Diet Program -- 30.8 Million
Self Improvement -- 53.4 Million
Weight Loss -- 64.4 Million
Get Strong -- 197 Million

Star Wars -- 55.3 Million
Harry Potter -- 44.6 Million

Counting just the last three search phrases related to the chapter there are more than 300 MILLION web pages having to do with dieting or self-improvement. Star Wars and Harry Potter together do not make 100 million – and we all know that people into those subjects are 4-200 times more likely to make a web page. Why are people so interested in this? What is the drive to try to change oneself? I heard once that it was aliens using radio waves so we would make better slaves. However, later in life I learned that radio waves could not do that, so I came up with a better theory, based largely on what a friend who is a psychologist told me (I try to put the problem after the person, not the other way around). He said:
“Ewing, it's because they're fat and they don't want to be fat anymore.”
The main factor is pride, or in other words, competitiveness. In this rat race of a life, we are all trying to get ahead, be on the cutting edge of life. The only way to do that though – is to be better than everybody else is. This condition affects almost every aspect of our lives, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. Occasionally it even goes to the extreme of parents needing their children to be smarter/faster/better/(insert comparative adjective here) than other people's children. That is unhealthy, but I think you already knew that.
Athletes invest thousands of dollars into dieticians to perfect their intake of fuel to improve their performance on the field. Wrestlers starve themselves before weighing in to insure they have an easier match and an easier road to glory and fame (at this point, it is actually just to insure they are fairly matched). I think you have the idea.
The person who does not try to improve themselves beyond others is viewed as weak and lazy. Psychologically it is very difficult to deal with labels like these, so people are constantly looking for ways to improve.
I, myself, have always been gifted at math, but have never fully applied myself to the discipline. As a result, I was always two years ahead of my grade level and labeled a slacker. Honestly, how does that work? Slackers are usually behind in a course, not ahead. To boot, I always had high grades in these classes. My parents were always wondering why I was not trying harder. I did not see the big deal. Until now. While I continue to study math, I have been denied scholarships because I was not advanced enough above the other applicants. Had I understood better the world in which I live, I would have worked harder for those little improvements that do little more than make me better than the next person. As evidence for this, so you do not think I am just whining about not getting scholarships, let us look at Ivy League school acceptance procedures. If a student wants to study at Harvard, they must have a 4.0 GPA, 1600 SAT score and a 36 ACT score. They must have been involved in sports, music, service, student government, and several other extracurricular activities. On top of this, they generally held after-school jobs and invented a new form of nuclear fusion. While they may not be smarter than many of their lower performing peers, it is only because of the effort they invested in self-improvement that enabled them to study at such a prestigious university.
The average American though only needs to be better than average. That is why the average American is content to lose ten pounds and weight less that his bowling partners. The average American is willing to settle for a Mercedes over his neighbors BWM. But even these little changes are hard to make, and what better source to turn to, than a speech on how to get promoted or a new shake that melts fat. The average American likes to have a plan. I think it originates from football or shopping list exposure as a child. Let's face it; we all want to be better than those closest to us. It is not that we do not like them, it is just we all feel a need to be improving to the level just above our neighbors.
Given all this, there is another reason we like diets – our own self-image. Each and every one of us had a time in our lives when we felt perfect and could do everything we wanted to with no problems. I believe that was generally from six to eight months old. There was a time later on when we could do most anything we wanted (blasted curfew!) and we looked great! Maybe it was not perfect, but when we looked at ourselves in the mirror we always said, “You sexy beast, you!” or “I'm pretty!” The thing is, a year of college later, you are grabbing rolls of fat and yelling, “You're not wanted here!” That is the moment we realize that something needs to change. I personally took up fencing – no, not making fences, but rather the only sport with an actual goal to kill the other person (unlike football where that is the secondary goal). I liked it, because dying was not on my list of things to do that decade and it forced me to learn to be nimble and quick – like a 240-pound dancer. That did not do a whole lot for me (because I did not know about the Johnson Plat yet) – but I did try to change. I started drinking diet sodas instead of regular, I went to the gym more often (once or twice) and went running every now and again. I wanted to look and feel good for me. I knew I was fat and I did not want to be fat anymore. I did make some progress and I felt good about myself. People who lose weight for themselves or improve themselves are generally happier and more satisfied with their own progress. They also tend to make less of it.

!!Note: No actual scientific work has gone into the authors statements other than a simple convenience survey from three areas with a basic psychological and economic analysis!!

Even they, however, want a plan. An easy systematic process that delivers results.
That is just what most programs promise. They are a lot like loan advertisements – lots of big flashy words about what you can accomplish, but little or nothing about costs or long-term results. The nice thing about diets and self-improvement programs is there is no interest if you refinance your body. Or is there?*

The Johnson Plan!
0.0% introductory APR for first 6 months!
83.12% APR after first 6 months, subject to change without notice

Seriously, though, what do all diet ads have in common? Skinny people with giant clothes and flashing numbers about how much weight you will lose and how quick you can do it! Self-improvement ads talk in concrete terms on how much improvement you can expect for yourself in how much time. Maybe, five new words a day or two vertical inches of jumping height a week. But where is the talk on how much effort it will take?
How many people actually achieve – and maintain – their improvement? I do not know as that would be incredible hard to figure out. However, given levels of obesity in America, the number of people who are on the most current fad diet and the size and success of health food stores – I am going to guess that most people fail or cannot maintain results. A study done by the United States Department of Agriculture in 1989-90 and repeated in 1995-96 showed that more than 40% of Americans were falsely optimistic of their diets!** Perhaps because they failed to plan for the effort it would require on their part? We live in Generation Now. We want everything right now and we want it free. Unfortunately, only music from Kazaa is that way. Everything else in life takes effort on our part. Which leads me right to Chapter 2: Send me checks for thousands of dollars.***

*12.65% APR for all refinanced bodies. This introductory rate only available to members of UNICO.

**Young Shin, Jayachandran N Variyam, James Blaylock, “Many Americans Falsely Optimistic About Their Diets” Food Review, Economic Research Service. U.S. Department of Agriculture. Volume 23. Issue 1, January – April 2000. pp 44-50

***Please direct all checks to Mr. Benjamin Ewing, 11905 Kristie Cir., Anchorage AK 99516